The Program

Maybe it's the weather.  Maybe it's because every other commercial reminds me that I haven't kept the New Year's resolution I never made to lose weight and swimsuit season is barrelling down upon us.  Maybe it's because I feel as if I haven't left the house in decades. 

Whatever the reason, I've realized that I need to start moving more in order to feel happier.  And because I'm too cheap to join a gym I'd never go to for fear of the living, I've developed the Workin Hard While Rockin Your Bod(c) program (hereafter referred to as "The Program").  It's a low impact fitness program designed to incorporate exercise into everyday life.  The goal of The Program is to turn as many ordinary things as possible into opportunities for exercise.

I start with my office chair.  Replace the creaking hand me down with a ball chair!  Unwilling to spend that much money on a place to rest your ass while you do things you'd rather not?  Make one yourself! 

A home-made ball chair has between one and two pieces for easy assembly.  First you need an exercise ball- try to find the biggest one you can.  If you're lucky it will be tall enough to serve as a chair on it's own.  If you need more height or enjoy a death-defying challenge, simply place the ball on a small, preferably sturdy, step stool, and...  Voila!  I give you Ball Chair! 

Now that you're following The Program during working hours, it's time to tackle the rest of your time.  Multitasking is a skill valued in life as well as in The Program.  Which brings me to step two of The Program: making everyday tasks less mundane by adding lunges!  Do you find yourself walking down to your mailbox every day just to check the mail?  Well, in The Program you'll find yourself losing weight as you do!  Simply lunge your way out to your mailbox.  You might be a bit embarrassed at first if you have neighbors, and even if you don't, but don't worry, a loss of shame is a part of The Program (this is obviously due to the rockin new bod you're sculpting).  For a challenge, walk on your tip toes back from your mailbox to maximize the number of muscles used.  Do some lunges while you vacuum or while you wait for the spin cycle to finish.

Another aspect of The Program is to try to use everyday objects as weights.  Small children are perfect for this.  So are fifty pound bags of chicken feed.  Use what you have and get creative!  Do you find yourself constantly picking up toys that have been littered all over the house by kids and dogs who don't seem to understand the concept of picking up after themselves?  Get a workout as you clean by carrying as many of these rogue toys as possible and dancing as you put them away!  Try to stay unorganized or you run the risk of only making a few trips across the house as you clean.  However, if you clean willy-nilly you'll find yourself putting in a lot of extra steps as you criss cross your house in an attempt to make it presentable.

Now, The Program does not have a diet section so it's up to you to eat whatever you want.  And if you change nothing about your diet you'll still see results with The Program, it really is that revolutionary; although it is advised that you feed your chickens your leftovers so you're not tempted by them.

And now, armed with the basics, you too can develop your own Program.  So get moving and enjoy your rockin new bod!

Please note that The Workin Hard While Rockin Your Bod program is under copyright and is in no way real.  Results are neither guaranteed nor accurate.